So wrong (in triplicate!)

Reporting to you from Mexico with a few things to share.  You are reading this post, which means that you know me and my love for numbering my thoughts.  So here we go:

1.  I saw a real live call girl last night!  At the Ritz Cancun - the Mr. is here for a meeting and I am tagging along for the beach (aka: tequila).  While at the bar having dinner on my own I ecountered a situation.  Stunningly beautiful girl walks in and sits down next to the oldest and crustiest dude... he buys her a drink and then laments his lifelong failure as a father.  He gets depressed and soon asks her to raise his spirits (right?) by standing up and turning around - slowly he requests - which she does obediently.  He applauds loudly, pays the check and whisks her away.  So wrong... yet fascinating.

2.  Same bar, same night, where I am devouring good sushi and a good book.  I am into non-ficton lately, and more specifically, educational non-fiction.  So naturally my "beach read" book is about evolution!  I have to say that while reading about my fishy anscestors I felt very guilty about my sushi binge.  Sorry uncle ahi ahi!  So wrong... yet yummy.

3.  Have just checked into a new spot for some R&R with the Mr. - I opted for an "eco - luxe" spot in what is called the Mexican Riviera (just to see what such oxymoron might look like).  And here we are, lazing on a hammock with spider monkeys in our trees and lizards in our bathroom.  On a good day I would be the first to say ADIOS - but here I am loving every minute.  So wrong... yet spectacular.

I think my house is more high maintenance than me

I think my house has surpassed me (in short time mind you) as being more high maintenance.  Without being too graphic about my personal grooming... let me share some serious discrepancies:

House:  Someone comes by once a week to mow the lawn and trim the hedge
Me:  No such service (yet...)

House:  Tree branches scratching roof are quickly attended to and trimmed accordingly
Me:  Where was such service when I was scratching my eyes while growing out my bangs?

House:  Small cracks in patio to be filled and polished
Me:  Have yet to find a facialist - small cracks in face running rampant

House:  Cream facade must be washed to rid dirt kicked up during heavy rains
Me:  I had spinach in my teeth for a whole day and no one told me

Clearly I have a lot to learn from this B@*%^$.

Too much of a good thing?

For the record, I love Texas.  I love being back in the United States.  I love driving a car again.  I love Tex-Mex.  But I am finding it hard to just jump right in... I might be experiencing too much of a good thing.

Example 1:  the grocery store

Oh you know I love myself some grocery shopping!  I may have met my match... in Dallas it is known as The Central Market.  It is massive (equal to a NY city block?) - it has everything - and if you forget something you have to start back at the front door and hop back into the racetrack at GO.  I have decided it is for the more "experienced" shopper and now frequent the local Tom Thumb (still a force to be reckoned with!)

Example 2:  boozy lunches

Oh you know I love myself some margaritas!  Apparently, so does everyone in the state of Texas.  I met an old and now new again friend for lunch (hello K.E.S - so happy to have re-made your acquaintance!) and I thought it was very endearing when she asked if I was drinking.  I then took the pulse of the room and found that everyone was drinking... on a Thursday - at noon - margaritas everywhere - like a dodgy NYC happy hour (and I know what I am talking about here!)  My sister and I went to lunch the following day at another spot and remarked at the sheer amount of booze flowing (one table had margaritas AND a bottle of wine to boot!)  Dallas... I love you for this... but you may just kill me.

Example 3:  power walking

Oh you know how I love myself some... wait, no, I actually don't love this one.  Okay fellow neighbors - what gives?  When did power walking become de rigueur?  I look out my windows pretty much any time of day and feel like there is a flash mob - but then I realize there isn't any irony and you all are out for sheer exercise in numbers.  I applaud you - yet do not understand you... yet.

Give me time and I have no doubt I will be power walking through The Central Market sipping a margarita.

Back in the blog

Having escaped the dark period that we now refer to as AMS - I feel so guilty adding more complaint - and yet I continue - mostly because a good number of you have told me that you enjoy reading these stories.  So I am back in the blog... ironically again to keep my sanity.  I have a new problem.  I have a family of frogs living in my house. 

Dan and I bought a house back in June - our first house actually - and the entire experience has been such a roller coaster.  (In a nutshell... WTF??? Why didn't any of you tell me how hard this @%^&$ is?)  Long story short - we had to make some adjustments / tweak some things / change some doors / and as a result we ended up with a 3" gap in one of our back doors.  It was a temporary problem (I was assured) that would be re-visited later in the week.  

The next morning after said adjustments I woke up to find a family of frogs in our family room.  Even Lola was so taken aback that she just rolled with it.  And these were proper frogs.  Not the kind you can scoop up and say "oh, you are so cute!"  No - evicting these frogs required strength and guts and resolve.  It sucked.  They scared me.  I was so pissed.

Loving Texas - the frogs not so much.