In my 6 years in NYC I can't remember ever getting a single item of clothing altered - ever. And here I am 18 months into Amsterdam and I have probably had a dozen things re-sized. Thankfully they are being taken in / not let out (I attribute this to my extreme discipline with the pervasive eating of cheese here - meaning - I don't look at the cheese, smell the cheese, and certainly don't touch the cheese!) So, I had to find a tailor to keep me in my clothes. A very stylish friend helped me out...
I don't know his name, only how to get to his shop, and that I think he is Turkish. There is an extreme language barrier between myself and my new tailor. He is very good at what he does - but I find it incredibly daunting to have your clothes hacked up when the only common language you share is basically Pictionary. But that's just me.
Regardless, it never fails that this "conversation" takes place when I am at the register waiting to pay. In hand gestures, random English words and sometimes scribbles - the same conversation ensues - every single time:
Tailor: how old are you?
Charlie: 36
Tailor: no this is not true
*to which I act flattered b/c I think he is suggesting I look younger - but in all honesty he could be suggesting the opposite at this point - I never push for clarification.
Tailor: babies?
Charlie: no
*the tailor now gives me a look of sorrow and stares at me in disbelief... I feel very awkward and say:
Charlie: babies are great!
*the tailor smiles and takes out pictures of his 4 young children - he is very proud - I smile - and then without fail he draws a heart in the air with his finger - universal symbol for love, no?
Charlie: (absolute silence)
Tailor: you will have babies!
Charlie: (absolute silence)
Tailor: (stare down)
Charlie: (stare down)
Tailor: 38 euros
Charlie: Dank u / tot ziens / fine dag (thanks / see ya / have a great day!)
I kind of think I need to borrow someone's baby soon...
it seems to me that he is trying to sell you one or all of his children for 38 euros and he thinks you're incredibly rude for not snapping up the bargain
ReplyDeleteYou don't eat cheese?!?!?!?!?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteTo Anonymous 1: excellent idea - I will try to negotiate better next time!
ReplyDeleteTo Anonymous 2: I don't eat cheese often - but certainly indulge from time to time.
Oh dear, you crack me up!! Maybe you should eat enough cheese so you bloat up and look pregnant, then go on a diet and tell him you had your baby, THEN take a picture of friend's tot and tell him it's yours. That way, you have your cheese and eat too..... and end the awkward "you have babies!" convo.
ReplyDeletemuch love,
EJ